just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't trust your balls anymore.
did i just pee glitter
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
