you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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