I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Best friends brother. Beat that.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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