worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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