This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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