Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think people are normalizing furries
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
