At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
