butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize