She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
