You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
