3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
