if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
