we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
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