but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
