maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
