wakey wakey hands off snakey
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
