I'm lost and stupid without you.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
