Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
