There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
