just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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