She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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