dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
