Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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