i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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