I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
