I love black thongs
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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