i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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