He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
