it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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