I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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