i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
