Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
