this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
