This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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