You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize