remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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