i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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