Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize