Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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