Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize