I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
