My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize