is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
