He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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