seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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