I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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