Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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