I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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