Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
