I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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