Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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