Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
