physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize