I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
