So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
