my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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