I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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