mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
