You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
