You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So drunk its hurt
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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