i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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