Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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