I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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