no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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