i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
