I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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