check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
